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How To Choose Joy in Infertility


What is joy?

I invite you to think upon the last moment your heart was full.

When was the last time your heart was full of joy? Where were you? At an airport hugging an old friend? Achieving a goal? Your favorite vacation? How did you get those feelings? How did you obtain and arrive at that kind of joy? The Bible helps us understand how we arrive at joy's door (not to be confused with happiness down the hall).

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produced perseverance."

James 1:2-3

How do we get pure joy according to James 1:2-3?

Whenever you face trials of many kinds.

We arrive at joy's door after we have faced trials? No! It's WHEN we face trials!

So? Do we get to go through joy's door when we finally see that positive on a pregnancy test? When we receive our precious little child from the adoption agency? No! God isn't interested in only giving you joy at the end. He wants you to experience it now.

Joy is a door. Not a gold medal, not a prize, joy is a journey.

God invites us into joy's door to be in his presence on the narrow path.

My sister who is barren,

Choose joy today. Joy is not happiness. Joy is not getting what we want.

Joy for you is facing this trial of infertility. No special instructions on how to face it.

Just face it. Whatever that looks like for you:


-Calling a dear friend who you can trust.

-Laying on your spouses chest.

-Going for a walk.

-Making a delicious meal.

-Watching a chick-flick.

-Having someone pray over you. -Doing something creative.

-Pushing through the work day.

-Getting things done even when you do not want to.

-Attending a therapy group.

-Attending a worship service.

-Reaching out to others who are struggling.

Choose Joy.

Whatever that personally looks like for you between you and God.

A Prayer:

Dear God, help me to choose joy today by how you define joy, not how I define joy. Help me to face this trial of infertility without thinking about how anyone else is viewing my grieving process. Lord show me where you are leading me on this journey, and help me to rely on your strength. I love you Lord, Amen.