A poem of loss

A beautiful poem brought to you all by a mama grieving the loss her second little one. This particular piece of writing gives brilliant insight into the heart of a mother maneuvering her way through the thoughts and feelings associated with a loss.
Jumping for joy
Running around
Shouting the news
To all of the town
Dreaming up names
Picturing eyes
Thinking of games
To calm down your cries
Playing you songs
Hoping you hear
Hand on my belly
Feel you so near
Time to wake up
Was that a dream
Now it's a nightmare
I'm gonna scream
Where did you go
Why did you leave
No time to think
No time to grieve
Time to inform
Time to back track
Time to prepare
for a pat on the back
It could have been worse
At least your alive
Yes, that is true
But a part of me died
Things left unseen
Are equally real
Things with no voice
Can always still feel
Numbness surrounds
Dreams start to fade
Blow out the candle
On the plans that we made
The loss of a soul
No matter the age
Can steal a moms joy
And fill her with rage
What did I do ?
I refuse to blame me.
Should I try again?
Or just let it be ..
Boss I am not
Plans I don't make
To understand why
Is too much to take
Letting it go
Riding the waves
Seeing the light
At the foot of the cave
Here comes the sun
Mixed with warm rain
Beautiful rainbow
To heal all the pain
Faith is restored
Hope is alive
Hearing your heartbeat
As mine takes a dive
Courage I'll have
Strong I will be
A new spark has lit
And set fire in me