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Motherhood Monday- To the grieving, beautiful, barren, woman.

I look down at my empty stomach, too.

I too, see the flesh pink beautiful newborns on my phone.

I feel the emptiness as my thumb scrolls picture after picture, too.

10 weeks, 20 weeks, 30 weeks.

I see the maternity shops, too.

I too, look into my husband's eyes and wonder if God will ever make us one.

I wander through the baby section of the store, too.

And I grieve, too.

I turn to my side in the mirror, too.

I imagine, hope, dream, and wish for my turn.

I see the bright red spot turn into pain as I bleed each month, too.

How long, Lord?

I too, see the empty spare bedroom in the house.

I prop myself against the hard, un-decorated wall, and weep, too.

How many times, did I trick myself into thinking that evaporation line was

a positive pregnancy test.

I too, have tested 5 days early.

Maybe this month?

Maybe, just maybe God heard me this time?

I see you.

And you see me.

We are mothers at heart.

We are strong.

We have suffered.

We continue to suffer.

We weep, we laugh, we hope we pray.

We are not alone.

We, too. Matter to God.

We need to celebrate us, too.

Happy Motherhood Monday, barren and beautiful woman.

You are dearly, deeply, and beautifully held by your king.

-JoAnna Winans