It's time to "Go Home."
As Mother Teresa was going around the world, seeing all the poverty, all of the heartache, and all of the pain and sadness. It is beautiful to me that this quote was birthed. "If you want to bring happiness to the whole world, go home and love your family." -Mother Teresa
Several times whether in therapy, or hearing advice from couples that have been married a long time. They say this: "The most important thing is you two." They never say... The most important thing is... "friends," or "family," or anything else. Truly the essence of "Forsaking all others, for as long as we both shall live" mentality.
I have to be honest... Most people that know me, know that I am very vulnerable and wear my heart on my sleeve, and I love to resolve conflict. Anybody else with me? I hate, HATE unresolved conflict. I am a person that dives head first into conflict, because I want to get it resolved.
(And can I be even more honest?.... I waste a lot of time trying to resolve really awful, hard, problems in my personal life, that I can't fix...... Only God can)
So God has really allowed me to be in a season recently with many MANY scenarios of unresolved conflict in my life, and man! Not just struggling with infertility! Family, friends, you name it! And it shows! It's very easy for me to want to constantly fix the negative feelings that are out of my control.... Talk about a mood killer!
One thing I am really challenged by, is truly (after properly grieving the scenario & I truly mean have grieved, cried, prayed, sought wise counsel & repeat) taking the essence of unresolved conflict and just put it aside for a couple evenings.... (i.e. this for you may be infertility, multiple miscarriages (once properly grieved), someone that doesn't treat you like your worthy of love, or someone that rejected you presence, or a co-worker that is trying to get ahead, or dealing with someone who is just plain mean) and just simply to go home and love my spouse. And love him well.....And realize that God is going to be the one that has the final say of the situation, and deals with all the unresolved conflict when I may not see it.
If this is you..... I completely empathize with you, in that being in a world of hurt with feeling like no one understands, and feeling depression and sadness that just keeps abounding...Something I have found helpful, though I am nowhere close to embracing this fully... is this.... so familiar, but truly meaningful prayer:
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things that I can, and give me the wisdom to know the difference."
Though Casey and I are far FAR from perfect by any standard, we are each other's constant. Every day he is there. Every day. The good the bad, and the ugly. He is there. What a great gift, that I so often miss when trying to fix all the brokenness in my life... I so often miss the joys of today.
In summary.... If you are a fellow "conflict resolver," and just want answers from God... I beg you to join in this challenge with me by trusting God to help you get out of that swimming pool of unresolved conflict, go change out of that wet uncomfortable one-piece for a couple nights, let God swim the laps, put in the work necessary on your behalf, and just go home and love your family.
"It's time to go home."
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