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Karma on the Cross.

{"Let's Go LADIES!!!!!" I can hear my brunette volleyball coach yelling at the top of her lungs and pointing towards the net, as several of my teammates sweat, and served from the baseline and darted towards the net to shag their ball. (Shag means retrieve in volleyball terminology...) If I've lost you already... don't be fooled.... I rode that Junior Varsity bench 60% of the time loud and proud that year.}

As my teammates and I all retrieved our balls, a couple of my teammates started talking softly out of my peripheral view. They were furious at a classmate. She had done something bad, and being the good Catholic girls that they were, said: "Don't worry y'all, we don't have to do ANYTHING, karma is a b*%$^. It will come and get her HARD one day."

Before this year I had attended a private Christian school where "karma," was never spoken of. I literally went home that night, and researched what karma was in the dictionary. "The Buddhist belief that whatever you do comes back to you, e.g. if you do something good, something good will happen to you, and vice versa."

{I sat. I thought. A seed in my subconscious was planted.}

See, I knew this girl that they were mad at:

-She made varsity...... they didn't.....

-She got the guy.......... they didn't....

-Her mom took pictures and came to every practice and game.....their

mom's didn't...

- & She flaunted it.

From that moment forward I looked at this girl differently. She had somethin' ridin' on her, and that was some SERIOUS KARMA comin' her way!

I often look at my infertility struggles, and God this way.....

{A little peanut gallery of girls in navy blue spandex telling me that I did something wrong in my past} and so WAM painful period every month, 12 months in, and the devil is just getting started. I find myself analyzing over and over, "Did I mess up in college? Did I go too far physically in my past relationships? WHAT IS IT GOD?! I just want to confess and get this "karma" over with.

Karma is not real, and God doesn't work like that.

Jesus debunked karma on the Cross.

Many Christians hang onto the verse: "Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. – Galatians 6:7-8" In context this verse was specifically talking about sowing and reaping money. Let's not get it confused with other life choices.

Here is the good news... Jesus put to death all of your sin, and when you invited him into your heart, all the "karma" the world says you deserve is washed white as snow. Whether you had sex outside of marriage, abused drugs or alcohol in your past, had a judgemental heart, cheated on an ex boyfriend, looked at pornography, said pathological lies, was rude to someone, WHATEVER it is for you, Jesus paid that ALL on the cross. For you.

So darling, don't you dare for a second, think that your infertility, loss of a child, or any hardship that comes your way on your journey to motherhood is because of "karma." It's not real. Jesus says in John 10:10 "The enemy comes only to steal kill and destroy, but I have come so that they may have life and have it to the full."

Jesus came into our lives, so that we can live fully in his presence with NO SHAME.

So why am I struggling with infertility? Why do we have hard times in our lives? Why does God let us experience pain. There is no blanket statement to answer that question fully to touch your heart, but what I DO know is that PAIN IS NEVER WASTED. God will use what you are going through, and what you have been through, and what you will go through for his glory.

-Hold fast to his presence & to the people who will lift you up to his glory & his standards for suffering in your struggle.